Radical Trust in a Radical Story

Two weeks of radically trusting God.

THIS IS A LONGER READ: but it is worth all the details. If you don’t want to read and would rather just listen, click the play button below and I will read it to you! Photos at the bottom!

Trying to sum up two weeks of solely relying on Jesus in every part of my life is hard to put into few words. I experienced God truly as my Shepherd.

Psalm 23:1

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

A familiar phrase you have probably heard before, and one I have written in a previous blog, but holds such significance. A shepherd guides, provides, protects, goes with and before, comforts, and works hard to prepare the grounds for the goodness that follows. I got to tangibly experience God as my Shepherd. All that I need.

Before I tell you what I experienced, I want you to know what I had heard. Leading up to our time of ATL (Ask The Lord- where we ask God where to go and what to do and listen for His voice to obey) our team had been praying about these 2 things: where to go and what to do. For a few weeks. As we left our first ministry location in Albania (Elbasan) to head to the capital (Tirana) for a few days of debrief with the squad to say goodbye to our lovely leaders, we found out that most of the other teams on our squad already knew the location they would go, the ministry they would be serving with, and some even where they would be staying. However, leading up to this moment our team of four (Dezarae, Emma, Jessie, and I) still did not have even one of those answers.

Before leaving Elbasan, both Emma and Dezarae spoke that they heard God tell them that Jessie and I have the answer, and to trust our decision. Honestly, this was some heavy weight to carry. To be completely honest it definitely made me press harder into listening because in order for God to tell me anything it’s going to require me being still and listening. So Jessie and I prayed both together and apart leading up until debrief and saw/heard these words/images.

By the waters

Hook

Fishermen

Planted by the water (Psalm 1:3)

Time of rest before reaping the harvest

Equipping / Learning

Refocusing our eyes on God

Stillness and peace

Separation

Indignation

Harbor

Ruth- God will be with us anywhere

Location: Vlore or Golem

Driven by Shalom

It was quite a bit of a lead, but still not enough to really know where to go and what to do. And separation? Indignation? Those didn’t sound the most glamorous. But we pressed on.

So here’s the story!

Sunday, February 18th

It was our last day in Tirana before heading out for two weeks of ATL. That evening during worship as I prayed I told God I needed help. I didn’t have an answer. All I knew was “by the waters” and well half of Albania is on the coast.. by the waters! So I prayed specifically about Vlore and Golem. As I was on my knees, face to the ground, I heard God say “one step at a time, just get on the bus”. I fought a bit, saying “that’s scary!” And I just could hear this gentle voice whisper something like “exactly.. just trust me.” So I got up, went over to where Jessie was and told her what I just heard God speak. Her response was simple “I have a lot of peace with that.” In that moment we both had this mutual confidence and unexplainable peace to trust God and get on a bus the next day and head to… Vlore.

That night as I was in the bathroom I started humming some tunes (not really a normal thing for me to do lol) and suddenly heard a very familiar tune but one I didn’t entirely know. So I kept humming. And then the sound turned to words… “shalom, shalom, the Lord is in your midst”. Quickly I remembered those words. The words of a song a missionary in Guatemala once sung over me as I prayed against a spirit of fear. I knew this was from God, I hadn’t heard that song in over four months. I grabbed my Bible and journal, ran up to the terrace, and began to just pray and dive in to the lyrics of this song. Lyrics that were so parallel to the words God had been speaking and the scripture I had been reading. Wow. To say the least, I cried many tears as I made the connections and knew without a doubt His voice is whose I had been hearing. Driven by Shalom, the Prince of Peace.

Monday, February 19th

We packed up and headed out shortly after lunch. After a few hours on a bus we hopped off, strapped our packs on well, and began the hike. For the next three hours we walked in the Spirit. Asking God to lead our steps and guide us to a place to stay. Hotel after hotel after hotel. No peace. The best direction we had was “by the waters”, so that’s where we continued to go. It was getting late, our bodies were tired, no hostels were near, and our budget was low. We decided the safest option for the night would be a hotel in that area, even though it meant spending into another days budget. Despite the differences of emotions, we trusted God. What seemed unsuccessful for day one, was really just God telling us to wait.

Tuesday, February 20th

The night before we spent a good amount of time trying to book an Airbnb but kept running into various issues. Again on this morning we woke up with hopes of booking the Airbnb. However, even using different phones, different card information, and different lengths of stay, it still wouldn’t work. We had to check out of our hotel shortly before lunch so we headed to our new hot spot restaurant- Brooklyns. For the next few hours we attempted to book an Airbnb or find a hostel in budget but once again ran into problems. Jessie even called the Airbnb contact and was informed there were “no red flags on the account and we should be able to easily book”. At this point it was becoming a little frustrating but also a little obvious that God did not have an Airbnb or hostel in His plan. After we got a bite to eat we took a break to just go sit in Gods presence by the water. Remember that word “by the waters?” Well here it is again.

As we took off all our packs (yes we were still carrying our life everywhere with us) we sat down to just be still with God. Jessie felt prompted to go talk to a group of young people out on this concrete circle in the water and Dezarae went with her. Emma and I stayed back with our packs interceding with expectation. As I watched this interaction happen I had so much peace. Shortly after they returned and told us the news. The people they met were missionaries our age from Italy! They didn’t know of any place we could stay, but they did invite us over for a life group they were having that night… with homemade Italian dinner! We remained by the waters as the afternoon passed by, talking to Jesus and just resting in His presence. Trusting His plan.

As we sat along the waters on some steps, I began to feel an urge to talk to this one guy sitting a short distance away. I turned to Jessie and asked how she was doing and she replied saying that she feels like she needs to talk to the man. That’s when it was clear. She felt it, I felt it, it’s likely Jesus telling us! Jessie got up and began a conversation with him and I joined soon after. This man, named *John (names will be changed for privacy), was a 19 year old professional football player in Albania from Egypt and identified himself as Muslim. Jessie and I could tell he was very strong in his faith. He spoke with gentleness, asked a lot of questions, and from that day onward became a great friend.

While Jessie and I were talking with *John, Dezarae and Emma were talking with a woman named *Rose. I don’t know much about that conversation as a whole, but I do know that *Rose was open to meeting up again and was searching for something to satisfy her heart.

After a few hours of talking with these new friends it was now time to head to the ninth floor of an apartment for dinner with our Italian missionary friends. As we arrived we went two by two in the elevator with all of our packs still on. Once on the ninth floor we took all our packs off and were welcomed into Nonna’s (grandmother in Italian) home. To give you a little family tree here, the Italian missionaries our age are staying with full time missionaries *Lyla and *Lonnie. *Lonnie is Nonna’s son. The night goes on, we hear a couple testimonies, eat dinner, and then get asked the question “where are yall staying for tonight?” To which we honestly replied “we aren’t sure yet, but we trust God.” As Nonna spoke in Italian to *Lyla, *Lyla translated in English to us the words “she wants to know if yall want to stay here tonight?” Our answer was an obvious yes. This home was a place of peace. She then asked how long we would be in Vlore, and after hearing we would stay for 2 weeks she extended the invitation for us to stay with her the entire length of our stay. Wow. Praise God! He truly popped off and provided. With a content mind expecting to sleep on our sleeping pads on the floor, we were overly excited as we were welcomed into 2 bedrooms. One with two twin beds, and one with a full size bed. Just the right amount for 4 people to sleep comfortably. Thanks, God!

Wednesday, February 21

Our first day of ministry for ATL! We slept in a little and had a warm welcome in the kitchen with breakfast and cappuccinos by Nonna. Soon after eating I received a response to an email I had sent out the day before. I heard there was a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) team in Vlore so had previously contacted them explaining our time of ATL and asking for connections to a place to stay. The lady who responded *Daisy asked if we could meet up for coffee to talk more. A couple hours later we met up for coffee and found out that *Daisy also knew *Lyla and *Lonnie and Nonna! In fact, she lived on the floor above us at the apartment! We heard a little about her ministry and were welcomed into an even bigger family of peace. God truly provided so many believers, missionaries in fact, for us to love, serve with, and be loved by. *Daisy had told us that the night before when she read the email really late, her and her husband were praying so much for us. For provision and protection. Little did she know, her prayers were being answered as Nonna opened up her home to us. What a beautiful story of trusting God and allowing Him to show us that He really will provide for our every need!

February 22 – March 2

As the days passed by our team was able to help out in various ministry ways. Whether it was helping serve at lunch for the elderly, dancing and face painting at an event for at risk children, helping Nonna get groceries, or attending events the italian missionaries hosted, we got to join in on the ways God was already at work. In the middle of our time spent with the local missionaries, we also went out to coffee shops for Bible studies, made new friends, spent a lot of time with *John and one of his roommates, evangelized, played basketball, and sat by the waters. I spent many hours with God just sitting by the waters, or walking alongside the beach. This was my favorite place of peace and rest.

March 3 – 4

As our time of ATL in Vlore was quickly coming to an end we knew we didn’t want the relationships we just made to be completely abandoned. And since God graciously connected us to many amazing people, we connected our new friends with our local believer friends. *John came to life group and got to hear *Lyla and *Lonnies testimonies. God is pursuing Him deeply! He lives with 3 Christian roommates, met the four of us from the states, got introduced to the Italian missionaries, and is basically surrounded entirety by Gods love! The one True Love!

Emma got to meet up with *Rose again for coffee two days before leaving. During that coffee conversation she got to hear about *Rose’s life, share some of her own testimony, and share the gospel with *Rose. Through God alone, *Rose’s eyes and heart were open and ready to receive. She said yes to Jesus and decided to surrender her life and follow Him! Whoop! Another daughter in the Kingdom of God!

The next day our team decided to have Bible study at a coffee shop and *Rose met up to join us! This girl is truly on fire to know Jesus! She asked so many questions and truly had a heart and mind that was so hungry and thirsty for the Word of God and the truth! She kept saying “this is the best day of my life!” And when given a Bible of her own to keep cried tears of joy saying it was the “best gift she could receive”. Wow. Truly humbling. Let’s all go back to that first love! That first love where we fell in love with Jesus and were filled with so much joy and excitement and desire! Daily we much remember the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, and who we are truly living for. Thanks, God!

Let’s wrap up the story!

I could share so much more with you that happened during this time period but it would take a whole book to write out. Whether it was graffitiing the gospel on a wall to share with an artist in his language, KFC runs with *John and his friends, beach walks and small conversations with strangers, or the stories we heard about the missionary Bible smuggler we met, it was quite an adventurous time ATL’ing!

So to close this story, I’m going to share that list of words I mentioned at the beginning, and draw the connections in a sentence or two in case you missed it or I didn’t talk about it due to time! Here’s to possibly the most radical two weeks of my life, walking with the Lord my Shepherd.

What God spoke & was fulfilled.

• By the waters
  • the location we met the italian missionaries, AND *John, AND *Rose the second day, where we felt the most peace, and where I found much rest
• Hook
  • can be referred to as “righteousness”, hooked on Jesus, so much so that we can do nothing but follow Him and His Word (*Rose)
• Fishermen
  • “fishing for souls” (Matthew 4:14), follow Jesus, He will teach us how to fish for people (*John)
• Planted by the water (Psalm 1:3)
  • where the righteous man bears fruit (because it is planted by rivers of water), fruit has a season…
• Time of rest before reaping the harvest
  • we truly rested physically and spiritually during our time there, and got to see the harvest two days before leaving!
• Equipping / Learning
  • spent lots of time reading the Bible, praying by the waters, doing Bible studies together, and watching sermons
• Refocusing our eyes on God
  • forced to be still and look up at God when our plans were not being carried out (especially when trying to book the airbnb)
• Stillness and peace
  • Meditate on the Word, by the waters… I found SO MUCH PEACE by the waters
• Separation
  • could refer to many things, but our team was physically separated most of our time there during the day since Emma had gotten sick, we also spent a lot of time individually being in the Lords presence, and saw people that were separated from God by sin in need of a Savior
• Indignation
  • didn’t have time to mention this story but Jessie poured into a relative of someone we worked with there in a lot of ways. He is going through a tough time of addiction and Jessie got to share testimonies from those close to her in her own life to encourage him and help his eyes refocus on Jesus. Indignation drove her to action.
• Harbor
  • symbolizes a safe place providing refuge and comfort, a shelter, protection.. definitely Nonna’s house! The Lord protected us each day.
• Ruth- God will be with us anywhere.
  • Ultimately when choosing a location we knew that no matter where we chose to go God was going with us, and He did.
• Location: Vlore or Golem.
  • Jessie and I mutually decided on Vlore, but never really talked about a why or why not for Golem. It was just unspoken agreement and peace.
• Driven by Shalom
  • The song I heard. Shalom. It was one I listened to almost every day I was there. One my team began listening to. And one that truly reminded me that the Lord is my Prince of Peace. The one who helped us in provision, protection, and direction. The one who gives me a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. Even in tough circumstances, driven by Shalom.

Thanks, God! Thanks for two incredible weeks that taught me how to hear your voice clearly and rely on you in all things!